Frequently Asked Questions

 

What is Confusianity?

Confusianity is a lifestyle brand which highlights the ridiculousness and toxicity of religion. The gospel of Confusianity is one of personal freedom, love, joy, truth-seeking, and self-actualization. Be all that you can be in this known life, rather than focusing all your thoughts and energy on the unknown of what happens after we die. 

 

With regard to religion, what is your life story (in a nutshell)?

I am a preacher’s kid, so I was brought up in Christianity from day one.  As I got older I embraced Christianity as my own, especially during my college years and throughout my 20’s.  However, by age 30 I was quite dissatisfied with where I was at in life and began questioning EVERYTHING (work, location, romance, friends, family, identity, politics, and of course… religion).

I ultimately came to the conclusion that continuing to believe in Christianity and attend church was of very little value (despite the comfort factor of having been in it my entire life). All of the promises of God and Christianity fell flat. As eagerly as I desired to have a relationship with Christ, I could no longer try to convince myself that it was indeed a “relationship”… especially while all my Christian friends married off and entered into actual relationships, leaving me behind… single and continually reminded (every Sunday at church) of how incomplete I was for not being married and having sex for the first time within the confines of marriage.  I was tired of being preached to… tired of continually being reminded each week of how wretched I am… how deserving of hell I am… apart from the mercy this “Christ” guy was throwing my way.  I was tired of being told my life is not about me, what I want, etc… but instead my life is only about bringing glory to this “God”… a God who’s voice I never heard and presence I never felt. So basically my life was about a great big invisible nothingness.

Eventually I woke up from the self-delusion, and walked away from the church.  Frankly, nothing really changed that much… except that my dating life got a lot better. 🙂  Also traveled more, learned more, accomplished more, got in better shape, etc.  It’s amazing how when you’re no longer tithing, praying, reading Christian authors, hosting Bible studies, or attending church, how much more time, money, and energy you have to focus on all the things you’re actually passionate about in life.

Leaving Christianity was the single best decision I made in my 30s… and it was also the most difficult.  It’s not easy to completely dismantle your social network and essentially disown yourself… the self you thought you were for your entire life.  It’s a daunting task, so I can understand why so many people (including myself) stick with religion for so long.  Especially for those Christians who were raised in it from a young age… it is not just a belief system, but it is for all intents and purposes you. 

I wish I made this leap away from faith sooner in life, but… I’m just glad I eventually made it… so that I still have the rest of my life to feel out who I am and what I want to do with my time here on this planet.  Life is short, so don’t dilly dally.  If you’re unsatisfied with your life, do something about it.  Genuinely seek truth in your journey and see where it leads you. Be curious and open to possibilities, yet discerning and vigilant toward those who would seek to manipulate you for their agenda.  Enjoy the process and develop a mindset and world view that works for you.

 

Are you an atheist?

Funny thing is… as I transitioned out of religion, I ended up getting into debates with Atheists as much as I did with Christians.  I think one of the reasons I remained ensconced in Christianity for so long was that I found the concept of Atheism to be entirely depressing. I always enjoyed existing… and the notion that I would reach a point where I simply no longer existed… that my story was over and that was it… I just couldn’t wrap my head around such a depressing thought.  And to make matters worse, why would it even matter that I existed in the first place… if a couple hundred years from now everyone who knew me would also be dead… and hundreds of years after most of our deaths, it really wouldn’t matter that any of us existed.  Seemed like Atheism points to ultimate meaningless in the universe… for all of us.

I’ve been wrestling with Atheistic principles for years now, and although I operate as an Atheist on multiple levels, I still don’t fully concede to it.  I often explain the situation as… faith is a spectrum.  On the far end of one side of the spectrum is Atheism… where there is essentially no faith in a “God”, “higher power”, “divine Creator”, however you want to phrase it… and on the other side of the spectrum is organized religion.  Doesn’t really matter which religion, because each religion is doing the same thing: making specific claims about things it cannot actually prove.  Each religion is relying entirely on faith, whereas Atheism is the complete absence of faith in anything that cannot be seen, measured, understood (via science), etc.

As for where I’m at on that spectrum, I’m definitely more on the Atheist side, but I currently identify as Agnostic… meaning I have serious doubts about the claims of all religions, but I remain open to the possibility that there’s something out there in the universe, whether it be some personable “God” or perhaps aliens, or maybe something more abstract like the Force.

Speculation can be interesting sometimes, but at the end of the day, that’s all it is… speculation. As an Agnostic, I simply say “I don’t know” to those questions that NONE of us can answer with 100% certainty.

 

Why do you hate Christians so much?

Honestly, I don’t.  As someone who was a Christian for 30+ years, look… I get it.  I know through and through what it is to be Christian… and I understand its appeal, especially for those who were raised in it since Day 1 or for those who have hit rock bottom and have found nowhere else to turn but to “God”.

When it comes to religious beliefs, people have their reasons… and usually, it makes complete sense why people continue to believe in the religions they were raised with.  One thing I often say is, look… if your religion is working for you and you’re not actively harming other people, then sure, go for it.  Far be it from me to try to take away your happiness. I’m very much Libertarian in this regard… you do you, I’ll do me. I’m not going to infringe on your freedom of religion, but simultaneously, don’t infringe on my freedom of speech.

As for the mockery and memes I post, well… although I’m an introspective, serious person in general, I love to crack jokes and have a good time. Having a sense of humor through ANYTHING is paramount to happiness in life and is one of the best ways to deal with stress. (It’s been medically proven!)

The memes and jokes are intended to illuminate certain aspects of organized religion. Although occasionally rather caustic, I would’ve posted a lot of these memes even back when I was a Christian. I’m totally fine with laughing at anything… including myself or aspects of the religion I believe.

And one final point… although there’s been a mutual ghosting between me and most all of my old church friends, I still remain close with a handful of Christians. Although we disagree on religion, we still get along great… and I have no ill will toward them just because they’re Christian.

 

Why do you not post much about Islam?

Well for starters, I grew up in Christianity for 30+ years, so that’s what I know.  I’m well-versed in the Bible, but have never read the Koran, so I’d rather not speak as much about things I’m not as knowledgeable about.

Secondly, I find radical Islamic extremists to be entirely irrational and terrifying, so I’d rather steer clear of that ticking time bomb… literally.  I’d rather deal with butt-hurt Christians who merely warn me of my path to hell and how God’s gonna get me after I die.

 

Is there anything you miss about Christianity?

I miss the community aspect… all of us having a shared belief that (in theory) transcends all other differences. For example, whether you’re pro-life or pro-choice, Republican or Democrat, etc. I always felt like Jesus trumped all that.  It was comforting to know that no matter what, we were all on the same team and Jesus was our captain.

Nowadays, I do find a bit of community with other Atheists & Agnostics, but… it’s not the same. If someone is pro-Trump or anti-Trump, there’s not a strong enough bond in just both being Atheist to supersede that sort of political difference. (Although hmm… maybe which Trump team you’re on is enough to separate even Christians these days.  I’m no longer in those circles, so can’t say for sure, but I have a feeling Christians can still put those differences aside to focus on Christ.)

I also miss some of the music.  I used to love the old hymns… and also have a soft spot for Amy Grant.  I’ll still occasionally listen to “The Collection”, just for old time’s sake.

 

Got a question that wasn’t mentioned above?  Ask away… and perhaps I’ll post the answer in this FAQ.